There are a number of everyday drivers for moving: wanting to live in a better neighbourhood, needing to be in a particular school’s catchment area, desiring to be closer to family, and so on. But there are other, less prosaic reasons for upping sticks, including the dreaded four Ds: death of a spouse or partner, debt, divorce and having to downsize due to a drop in income or loss of a job.

Moving under any of the latter circumstances is always going to be more distressing: not only do you have all the usual worries associated with moving, you have the added strain of coping with the precipitating event as well, particularly if it is loss related. You may also have the additional upheaval of leaving friends, your community, even your place of work. 

There is not much you can do about the events that are forcing your move, but there are strategies you can use to make them more bearable. As George Bernard Shaw wrote in Mrs. Warren’s Profession: ‘The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can’t find them, make them’.

So, firstly, don’t let circumstances, no matter how devastating, control you. Gain control of them yourself by considering all your options for dealing with the event and its aftermath.

Be positive. Concentrate on the opportunities rather than just the obstacles. Perhaps you will be moving closer to family members or discovering the social support of very close friends. Maybe you will enjoy the worry-free option of a less expensive house or the stimulation of a new job. 

Embrace uncertainty rather than being fearful of it.

And aways seek help when you need it –  don’t keep your emotions buried. As American educator James Bryant Conant once said: ‘Behold the turtle: he only makes progress when he sticks his neck out’.

Further information

'Surviving the four Ds of moving' is part of our new series of blogs, 'Moving Stories', inspired by Savills new advertising campaign. Each week, the pre-eminant psychologist, Professor Sir Cary Cooper, CBE, will be writing on a range of topics, from how to deal with the stress of moving to just what it is that makes a house a home.

Moving Stories will also be exploring the complex relationship between home and home-owner with funny, sad and bittersweet personal reflections on moving out, moving in and moving on.

We invite you to submit your own Moving Stories and will donate £50 to Dreams Come True for every one we publish on Savills UK Blog. We'll also make a donation for every story submitted for consideration.